One random day several months ago, the good old YouTube algorithm did its work and offered me "Heathcliff & The Catillac Cats Series 1, Episode 1". A full 35 years since I had last watched an episode, no doubt in the 4.10pm after-school slot on Children's BBC, the theme tune came straight back to my mind and I decided to indulge in a bit of nostalgia and remind myself what it was all about. I was a devoted cartoon fan in the 1980s and watched all the "cat" cartoons: Top Cat, Tom and Jerry, Garfield, Henry's Cat and others as well as Heathcliff, but after all this time I couldn't remember many details. Before long, that one-off watch had turned into a full-on binge as I raced through all 86 episodes.
I don't think I'm alone in appreciating the Heathcliff segments but really enjoying the Catillac Cats segments, especially through adult eyes: the storylines are better, the characters are more compelling, and there are more witty touches to pick up on. Through compiling episode transcripts for this wiki and making notes for future expansions of other pages, I have watched every Catillac Cats episode numerous times (what a hardship, eh!) and can say for certain what I believe the best episodes are. In reverse order, here they are, with my reasons why...
~~~~
SWAMP FEVER
"Hey, this kid's flipped his lid!"
Doctors and scientists often get a raw deal in cartoons, being portrayed as freakish, alarming crackpots, and Heathcliff & The Catillac Cats is no different. In this very amusing episode, "Doc", the quack doctor who Riff-Raff unwisely consults when Wordsworth contracts the rare disease "catatosis", is simply a crazy eccentric rather than a harmful enemy – even Mungo rolls his eyes at him. As well being full of visual humour and the fun of Doc's antics (including his random clothes-changing), this episode is cleverly written. While it seems, on the face of it, to focus on Wordsworth, it actually reveals a great deal about Riff-Raff's positive qualities: bravery, and loyalty to his friends.
Poor Wordsworth starts showing all the bizarre symptoms of catatosis, but doesn't even realise. Doc, clearly making it up as he goes along – possibly a sly dig at the medical profession – bossily orders him to do some basic tests (including "Lift your right leg!", which Wordsworth does in his typically theatrical way), and offers a wacky cure: the hair from an alligator. In one of those inexplicable cartoon transitions, the gang immediately take the Cadillac into the jungle; but even Riff-Raff doesn't know what they're looking for, and hilarity ensues as two alligators (or overstuffed lizards, as Riff-Raff thinks they are) give chase. The fact that one wears the colours of the Florida Gators is one of those neat details that may have been missed on first viewing – certainly by British kids, as American sport had minimal coverage over here in the 1980s. Another is the alligators turning into alligator-leather suitcases when they crash into each other in the final confrontation. Back home, Doc gets the last laugh, saying that the exercise Wordsworth and the others have done has cured him: a satisfying punchline.
So to Riff-Raff's loyalty and bravery: his first thought is to help Wordsworth, whatever it takes – even to the lengths of going into a scary jungle – and he insists on staying until they get what they have come for. Then he overcomes the two alligators, despite walking into one of their open mouths and later ending up being carried away on its back – all to try to get the nonexistent hair. His only mistake was trusting a doctor whose first thought is to offer a potion!
HECTOR SPECTOR
"I can't be a winner without my inner!"
Hector and Wordsworth's odd-couple relationship is not just entertaining, it feels authentic – an unusual thing to say about a cartoon. We all know, in real life, people who are great friends with each other despite having contrasting personalities. Hector, the sneaky, cynical wise guy, and Wordsworth, the chilled-out, head-in-the-clouds optimist, could not be more different, but they always come as an inseparable pair. Not giving them more prominence in the series was perhaps a missed opportunity, but at least we have this rather charming episode – much more straightforward than some of the madcap, here-there-and-everywhere ones – where Hector plays a harmless trick on his mate.
A run of superstition-related mishaps – spilling some salt, passing beneath a ladder and breaking a mirror – send Wordsworth into a wildly emotional state (a good example of how his normally laid-back nature can suddenly flip to the other extreme). While Cleo comforts him, Hector immediately sees the potential for some fun at his expense. Knowing how gullible Wordsworth can be, Hector's trick is amusingly simple: he jams a "magic" pot on Wordsworth's head and pretends to be his "inner voice" which, if obeyed, will help him see his future. Hector has great fun putting him in all sorts of funny situations; but considering how other episodes show he can have quite a nasty streak, his tricks are fairly innocent rather than malicious, which is quite telling. Had he been pranking one of the others, you feel he would have been quite cruel.
Riff-Raff, Cleo and Mungo, who have been relegated to bit-part players in the episode, come to Wordsworth's rescue by turning the tables on Hector and appearing in "ghostly" form to him. Hector is fundamentally a coward who puts on a front, and true to form he runs away in fear, jumping into a trash can. When Wordsworth unwittingly kicks this into the junkyard water-pit, angry at being tricked, Hector gets the comeuppance he deserves, and equilibrium is restored. The episode benefits from better than average animation and good attention to detail, and there's also a nice in-joke: unable to see, Wordsworth crashes into the instruments and drumkit in the music store – just like Bush does so often.
DEBUTANTE BALL
"I told you we shouldn't attend such a common affair, Princess Raffina!"
Cross-dressing played for laughs was more acceptable in the '80s than today, but that does not dilute the significance of this memorable, well-scripted episode, with its legions of extra characters attending a high-class party which quickly turns into a riot. (At least two Series 2 episodes borrow heavily from this one, suggesting the writers knew they were on to a winner.) The unusually long opening scene sees Cleo going off into a spectacular rage – her best in the whole series – having not been invited to her old friend Muffy Dupar's party. Riff-Raff can only watch in alarm as she destroys his belongings, but even worse is to come: Cleo wants to sneak into the party disguised as a boy, and Riff-Raff has to become a girl for the night. Hoping to have some fun with this unpromising situation, he drags the rest of the gang along. Seeing them all dressed up as high-society débutantes – Riff-Raff as a princess, Mungo as the Duchess, and Hector looking like he is enjoying himself in his disguise ("no-one would carry this purse with this dress!") – is undeniably amusing; and they proceed to cause utter chaos and then stand back and let it happen. In doing so, Riff-Raff and the guys help Cleo to get her own back on her hoity-toity friend while having fun at the same time.
Again, little details make this episode: the put-on voices (and Riff-Raff and Hector momentarily forgetting to speak as women), the fish on Hector's dish of food looking shocked as it lands on Mungo's head, a guest's monocle and moustache flying off and ending up on Muffy's face, "Duchess" Mungo's energetic dancing, and the lively fight scenes.
But what about Wordsworth? Despite having precisely seven words in the episode, he almost steals the show with his blatantly stoned appearance and the antics which result from it: the writers sneaked this through by having Hector claim that he had been "listening to music non-stop for a week", but by falling into a vat of punch, staring vacantly into space amid the mayhem, and failing even to stand up against a wall (with his blonde wig now back to front), it seems he may have been consuming something stronger than tuna and milk...!
KITTEN AROUND
"Now put up your dukes! I'll drop you like a bad habit!"
This is the episode that everybody remembers, simply because of "that" character: Roxie, with the fluttery eyelashes and the come-to-bed voice, who has no trouble at all in tempting Riff-Raff to stray even though he and Cleo have committed to go steady (in a rather cute "marriage proposal" scene where a fish takes the place of an engagement ring). Such overtly sexualised characters as Roxie are not too common in cartoons (in fact, the most obvious other example is Cleo herself!), and Roxie certainly sends the rest of the gang into a tailspin when she turns up at the junkyard announcing she's "new in the neighbourhood". They soon change their tune when Riff-Raff unashamedly starts cheating on Cleo by inviting Roxie in to "make herself at home"; and even worse, he orders them all to get food for their supper. Having already dragged the gang out of bed and forced them to clean up for him ready for Cleo's arrival earlier, Riff-Raff is playing a risky game by testing his friends' patience and loyalty: and his deserved downfall starts when Mungo sees Cleo and lets slip what is happening. As her eyes narrow inquiringly, you know it's all about to kick off...
Riff-Raff's arrogant, I'm-the-boss side is in full flow as he orders the guys to wait on him and Roxie, who is taking full advantage of his hospitality: there are certainly hints that she is no pushover and knows exactly how to handle him. Poor Hector even has to wear a frilly apron! But then Cleo turns up, ready to take revenge – and what follows is brilliant, and fully deserved. First, with the guys' help she doctors the food in a series of ever more unpleasant ways, making Riff-Raff and Roxie suffer. Then, on hearing Riff-Raff plead with Roxie that "I don't have a lot of girls: there's only you!" (her indignant face is a picture), she decides it's time for some fake catnip. Disguising herself as Hector, and making a passable attempt at his hard-as-nails New Jersey voice (an amusing touch!), she delivers the knockout blow. The spices send Riff-Raff and Roxie into an uncontrollable sneezing fit, bouncing around and wrecking the house; as Riff-Raff flies out of the door, Cleo offers a sarcastic "Gesundheit!" then turns round with a face of pure hatred to start the fight we all knew was inevitable.
But after some quality verbal sparring, there's a twist: Roxie has indeed figured Riff-Raff out, intuitively realising that his ego is his weakness. Able to convince Cleo that Riff-Raff had not told her that he was already in a relationship, the smooth-talking Roxie suggests a plan: and it works perfectly. They fake a fight by smashing up Riff-Raff's possessions, correctly guessing that he would be flattered by having two women fighting over him. He gets a nasty surprise when he rushes in ... but showing that he will never change, he simply shrugs it off with a smart remark: "Girls ... who can figure them?". The characterisation in this episode is spot-on, the script is tight, and although we never see Roxie again we all remember her.
THE OTHER WOMAN
"The boys an' I will treat her like one of the gang..." "You'd better not!"
As we've just seen, the most important dynamic in the Catillac Cats series is that between Riff-Raff and Cleo – a relationship of tension, where neither stays faithful and both get jealous easily – so episodes featuring other female cats tend to be memorable. This episode is an interesting variant on the theme, in that "the other woman" in question is pursuing an unwilling Riff-Raff, not the other way round. His nemesis is Lindsay – an unforgettable one-shot character, superbly voiced by Marilyn Schreffler with a twangy, drawling Southern American accent (perhaps Appalachian, to this untrained ear?) which needs to be heard to be believed. Lindsay's high-pitched voice really comes into its own in the hilarious extended scene when she sings and plays guitar appallingly badly at a freaked-out Riff-Raff (which also prompts one of the best lines in the whole series ... Mungo: "I wonder what that noise is?" Wordsworth: "I'm not really sure, but I hope there's a cure!").
Having borne the brunt of the over-amorous Lindsay's excesses all day – being dragged around Westfinster, thrown around like a rag doll, acting as her unwilling dance partner, and being subjected to her singing – Riff-Raff is then accused by Cleo of cheating on her. He manages to turn this nightmare scenario to his advantage by coming up with his most audacious plan yet. The brief glimpse of Wordsworth's shocked, hands-to-mouth reaction says it all: this is a good example of the attention to detail in the animation of this episode, in which all the characters' facial expressions are executed particularly well. Riff-Raff turns up in disguise as "Earl", Lindsay's hometown "lover", drags Cleo out around town just like Lindsay did with him ... then, with help from his ever-loyal gang, becomes Riff-Raff again and pretends to fight with the "backwoods Romeo" who has been sniffing around Cleo all day. The episode's broad-brush redneck/hillbilly stereotypes – obvious enough even to us viewers on this side of the Atlantic – are affectionate and funny rather than cruel, as well as being very effective.
Ultimately, just like "Kitten Around", the episode is all about Riff-Raff's monstrous ego. He's the top cat in the neighbourhood, and knows he can back it up; but he gets totally bested by an outsider – a girl, no less – and the love of his life turns against him. His solution needs not only to get Lindsay out of the picture and to win Cleo back, but to restore his pride and his status. How better to do that than a "fight" against an "enemy", in front of Cleo? Having succeeded spectacularly, with Cleo promising to "make it up to [him], starting right now", he then tries to be too clever, pushes his luck, and ends up lying in the mud – his inevitable "loser" status fully restored.
SCAREDY CATS
"Surprise!!"
Poor Riff-Raff has hit a new low. Cleo is smitten with Renfield, a hideously smug French artist – flaunting their relationship in front of Riff-Raff. He tempts her with flowers, but she huffs "you always bring me weeds!". He tries poetry, but Wordsworth's wonderfully vulgar limerick doesn't impress her. He offers her a terrible modern-art statue ("Was she in an accident, boss?..." wonders Mungo, with unusual insight), but she smiles as Renfield mocks him and slaps him round the face: a severe humiliation in front of his girlfriend. Then comes the bombshell: Renfield haughtily challenges the gang to stay all night at Farthing Hall – the local haunted house whose name is apparently enough to cause unimaginable fear. Riff-Raff knows his only chance of getting Cleo back is to try it. Just like in "Swamp Fever", his bravery and loyalty come out when it matters; but this time, it ends in redemption rather than frustration as the enemy is seen off and Cleo makes an emotional reunion.
It feels like everybody went all out to make this episode as good as it could possibly be. The script is full of great lines; the storyline is bizarre but clever – the inmates of Farthing Hall are cat-actors practising for a horror film, and Riff-Raff uses their high opinion of their talents against them by enlisting their help in scaring Renfield – the animation is very good, with a distinctive, slightly different style to other episodes; and there are so many witty little details. The guys all cobble together "phantom-fighting machines" to take with them; all backfire in amusing ways, and Wordsworth's contraption is a pair of dressing-dummy arms which flap around holding feather dusters, which somehow suits his flamboyant, camp nature. A cupboard falls open and a bra lands on Riff-Raff's head, while Hector picks up a top hat and indulges in some terrible singing. Mungo, chased by one of the over-amorous actors in a witch costume, falls into a swamp and is mistaken for a "swamp-beast". Best of all, when the others – scared out of their wits – demand to leave, Cleo and Renfield appear in a thought-bubble above Riff-Raff's head, mocking him; in a "meta" touch, he reaches through the thought-bubble and punches Renfield in the face (very satisfyingly!).
Just as the situation looks lost, Riff-Raff spots that not all is what it seems in the haunted house; and after confronting the actors and giving them a piece of his mind, he enlists them in a daring plan which ultimately allows him to throw Renfield's words back in his face: "see if you can win dainty Cleo's hand with brains, not brawn". He knows that Cleo is so infatuated that he has to do something very dramatic to win her over; and the haunted house gives him the chance he needs. He sends Hector in to tell Cleo that nobody else got out of Farthing Hall alive; Cleo is distraught, just as Riff-Raff knew she would be, and wants no more to do with Renfield (delivering a spectacular spin-kick to the head as he advances on her, drooling and leering in a genuinely disturbing way). Then, for good measure, and with the help of the Farthing Hall crew and plenty of make-up, Riff-Raff, Wordsworth and Mungo "fly" in as "ghosts", scaring Renfield off (but not before he is squashed flat by Mungo in a comical scene). The ghostly Riff-Raff reassures Cleo that everything will be OK ... but as he rinses off the make-up in a water-filled guitar case, Mungo dives in and sends Riff-Raff flying across the music store ... straight into Cleo's arms. Redemption, and the perfect ending – even though the ever-sleazy Hector brings down the tone by making it clear that Riff-Raff and Cleo will be going on to enjoy some "fun" that evening!
~~~~
You'll notice these are all Season 1 episodes. I have my thoughts on Season 2: these are best saved for another blog, potentially, but to my mind no Season 2 episode comes close (although He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother was a delightful way to end the series). Other Season 1 episodes could easily get an honourable mention in the list, but six will do for now!
Which legendary episodes have I missed out? Which is really the best? Add your thoughts!